Thinking a lot about families today…I imagine if you were to
draw my kids’ family trees, they’d look like some sort of unidentifiable art
form. Lots of really strange branches and off-shoots…plus the ones we’ve
grafted on simply because they feel like family to us.
My oldest son recently got engaged – and oh my! I love this
girl! They are a good fit, bringing out the best in each other and gently
smoothing out the rougher edges we all come with. It’s fun to see them
together. So, yes, I’m excited!
But, planning a wedding? Who to invite? Is it ok to not
invite someone? It gets really, really complicated.
Reminds me a bit of Jesus, when he was told that his mother
and brothers were looking for him and he…well, he dismissed the relationship. I’ve
always struggled with getting but not quite getting the dynamics in Jesus’
family. I mean, I can see where his brothers would be less than thrilled to
have no less than God incarnate as their older brother. Puts a damper on what
you can do and really raises the bar beyond what anyone else can meet. And
Joseph, dear old dad, probably has to work to love this firstborn – not of his
flesh, possibly the result of an affair but then again the angel said no and
Joseph is left to just have faith. Fortunately, he has other children though I’m
sure he struggles to love Jesus as much as he loves his other children. So, yes, I see where Jesus would be willing to
discount his family but…this is Jesus we’re talking about! Jesus doesn’t
discount or exclude anyone, right?
Then again…Jesus doesn’t discount or exclude anyone from
belonging to the family of God. He just doesn’t get caught up in our family of
origin and extended family nonsense. We are all viewed as God’s children,
created in love and called to live in relationship with God. When family
relationships become more important, Jesus gets dismissive. It’s almost like he’s
saying --- hey! keep your focus here! This is not about your petty family
squabbles, whether you are embarrassed or ashamed or whatever…this is about
seeing ourselves, first and foremost as God’s beloved child.
So maybe there’s some permission in that….permission to
politely overlook the ones who would make this wedding about them and not about
the gift of love God has formed between these two of his children. While not a
sacrament in my United Methodist tradition, weddings are services of worship
with vows that include a covenant between the couple and God, with the gathered
community serving as both witnesses and support system to do all they can to
help the couple honor their covenant with God and one another. Regardless of where you stand in the service,
it is all about God first – God’s love and God’s purposes in uniting these two,
including their extended families and friends.
Maybe the wedding list ought to be prepared from that
perspective…who do we invite that will readily join in the commitment to do all
they can to support and love and nurture this couple? Something to think about…
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