Do NOT pull the Fire Alarm...unless there really is a fire

I recently read a book in which one of the characters would occasionally find herself feeling so out of sorts with who she was that she would be tempted to do something drastic. And often she did crazy things...like pulling the fire alarm (no, do NOT do this) or dying her hair a strange color or shaving her head completely. As the story progressed, she often described her "itchiness" or "restlessness" as a temptation to pull the fire alarm (again).

Sometimes, I feel like pulling the fire alarm, too. My sense of self-control (ok, my fear of jail-time and other significant consequences) has kept me from doing this. So far. But I still sometimes get that itchy, restless feeling. It passes. Mostly.

It's an odd sensation, this sense of being untethered, of being not quite rooted. At my age, I should have my act together and be all grounded. Whatever. I'm not...at least not all the time. Granted, I've had some rather unusual jerk-the-rug-right-out-from-under-you experiences in the recent past so that could explain a lot of it.


It's funny because, in the cartoons anyway, these kind of pull-the-rug things typically cause you to end up flat on your back with stars floating around your head. That isn't exactly how it worked, though. No, I was pretty much on my knees. Sometimes, life has a way of sending us to our knees or fully into a prostrate position...laid out, lost, and as open as we can ever be to surrendering our very being to God.


If you haven't been there, I don't know whether to congratulate you or sympathize. It's incredibly hard for us be-all-we-can-be, do-it-yourself members of this great country to share our control much less give it all up willingly. And when its gone...well, sometimes it feels like a good time to pull the fire alarm. Unless...


Unless we can remember that God has something in store, something planned, some purpose for us that has nothing to do with what our society (neighbors, co-workers, friends, family -- they're all included), nothing to do with those expectations and everything to do with following a divine sense of rightness. The thing is, we get resistance. And in the tension between the divine sense of rightness and the powerful resistance lies that restless, itchy feeling.


I promise I won't pull the fire alarm. At least, not right now...