Giving the Shadow it's Due...

I am reading a fascinating book by Robert A. Johnson entitled, Owning Your Own Shadow. I’ll start with the confession that I am not terribly familiar with Jungian psychology which incorporates this concept of our “shadow” side…but I am enough of a human and enough of a student of life to acknowledge that we all have within us the equal capacity for good and evil.

Most of us, though, would rather not admit we have such a capacity. I don’t know that I could have put it in those words before myself. But, I see it. When my life was in such awful turmoil, my brother-in-law came over one day to help me sort through some of the financial mess and then took me to a gun range. He had brought several of his pistols and we loaded up on ammunition as we headed into the shooting area. He walked me though the basics, ensuring I had at least a rudimentary understanding of gun safety.

It was an amazing release! No, I can’t imagine actually firing a weapon at a live human but wow…I did some serious damage to that paper target. As I begin to understand the balance we keep between our “good” side and our “shadow” side, I can see how this gave my shadow side an outlet…one that didn’t cause harm to another or myself but simply was expressed and released. The result? I really did feel better, more balance and more in control of myself.

I’ve thought back to the early days when things at my house were really tough and remember assigning the boys with the task of replacing fence boards in our back yard. Just that act of hammering nails into wood was sufficient to release a lot of that bottled shadow-y stuff. And, my fence got repaired, so it was a good deal all around.

The author makes the case – though I’m not finished with the book and may amend this – that we do well to seek balance between the two, less we go overboard on our so-called “good” side and then turn around a smack innocent bystanders with our shadow stuff. I know that I have been in those situations where I am almost gritting my teeth into nubs, trying desperately to maintain my calm and cool…and the minute I am removed from the situation, I erupt. That stuff has to come out somehow and the author, thus far anyway, encourages an awareness that will allow us to tend to our shadow eruptions without inflicting them in ways that are harmful.

Maybe all this sounds just a bit far-fetched. Maybe it seems that I am dipping my toe a bit too heavily into a realm beyond our faith-filled upbringing. I don’t think so. Take some time to look through the gospel accounts of Jesus. Notice how often he went off by himself, got away from others. Yes, he went to pray but I would imagine he might have thrown some rocks or screamed into the emptiness just to vent out all of that stored up frustration. One of the strangest stories is the story of Jesus cursing the fig tree as he was making his way from Bethany into Jerusalem the day after his glorious arrival into town. It wasn’t fig season. The tree should not have had any fruit on it. And, yet, Jesus let loose with a curse…and the fig tree died.

We are currently in a season of high anxiety and stress. We are trying so hard to keep our nice on, to be loving and kind and generous…and really, we’d like to kick something. Or maybe that’s just me and I’m projecting on to you…if so, I apologize. I would like to kick something. But I’d rather you didn’t see me kick anything. Therein lies the struggle in balancing the goodness within us with the shadow side we all have as well.

Wonder what it would be like if we stopped acting like this whole shadow side didn’t exist? What if we could be more open and honest about our complete selves…the good, the bad, and the ugly? I’m not suggesting we go around kicking each other. But wouldn’t it help if we could incorporate and encourage space in our daily lives to at least own that dark stuff, give it a healthy outlet, and find a balance unlike any we have really experienced before?

I may just need to find me a gun range…